I am a big believer in making time for self-care during stressful transitions, like divorce.  Often we are just trying to keep our head above water. We get so caught up in the emotional trauma that we forget to take care of ourselves. When this happens, we become depleted and feel defeated.  Our judgment is clouded, and we make mistakes.

What is Self-Care?

Self-care is the ability to take time for yourself, not in a narcissistic way, but in a way that honors you.

• Treat yourself like you would treat others.
• Replenish your reserves before you are running on empty.

What works for your friend or co-worker may not work for you. Make a list of things you enjoy doing when you are not feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Choose one or two from the list and commit to do them for a certain period of time. For example:

•  take a walk after dinner 3 nights a week for 2 weeks, OR
•  attend a yoga class with a friend for a month.

By choosing something you enjoy doing and making a commitment to do it for a finite period of time, the likelihood that you will follow through with your plans increases. To combat failure to follow through let a friend, family member, or your divorce coach know your plan so they can hold you accountable. 

Self-Care Tips

In an article for Psychology Today, Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D. says, “taking care of yourself is essential to your quality of life.”  She offers seven tips, and these are three of my favorites:

Proactive self-care is better than reactive self-care

When you consistently practice self-care, crisis situations become more manageable.

Self-care takes practice

Not everyone is comfortable focusing on themselves.  It feels selfish. Give yourself permission to take time for you. If you slip into old ways, it is okay, try again. It takes time to create a routine.

Good self-care is about setting boundaries

When you set healthy boundaries, friends and family are more respectful of your time. When you allow yourself to say “no” when you are stretched thin, you role-model self-respect for your kids.

Making time to care for yourself is essential in order to thrive during difficult life transitions. Whether you are deciding if divorce is the next step, ready to prepare and move forward with divorce, or moving beyond divorce, my coaching programs will allow you to mindfully navigate the challenges you face with the goal toward a healthy future.