If you can’t stop thinking your separation/divorce was a mistake, there are a few things you an do. However, the options available to you may depend on your specific circumstances. 

If you are both open to considering that divorce was a misake:

Reconciliation: First it is important to determine if both you and your former partner are interested in reconciliation. Both parties need to be open to the idea of getting back together and working through any issues that led to the divorce.

Professional Support: If your partner is receptive to reconciliation, you can work on building trust, communication, and intimacy in your relationship. Seeking the help of a couples therapist, discernment counselor, or a marriage counselor may be beneficial in navigating the challenges of reconciling after a divorce request.

Be Patient: The reasons that lead to the decision to separate in the first place don’t magically disappear. Rebuilding a relationship takes time and effort. Be patient and focus on developing a strong foundation of trust and communication.

If only one partner thinks divorce was a misake:

If only one of you believes it was a mistake, there may not be a lot you can do to reconcile the marriage. Remember, you can only control your actions and reactions.  You are responsible for how you think, feel and act, no one else.

So what can you do?

1. Focus on You: Take some time to think about why you believe the divorce was a mistake. What are the thoughts and feelings that lead you to believe it was a mistake? What is your life vision. Who do you need to be in order to have the life you desire? Remember that your happiness is only dependent on you. No one else can make you feel happy. When you take the time to reflect on your past mistakes, identify your needs and values, you can start the process of work on becoming the best version of yourself.
2. Acceptance: If your partner is not interested in reconciling, refusing to let go is not helpful or healthy for you. Allowing yourself to accept that the marriage is over and place your focus and attention on the future rather than the past will allow you to begin to move forward.
3. Take Radical Personal Responsibility (RPR): It is essential that you take responsibility for your actions during the marriage and for the decisions that you make moving forward. When you take responsibility rather than placing blame onto others it pulls you out of victimhood, which is empowering. 

Believing that your divorce was a mistake can keep you emotionally stuck in several ways:

1. Focusing on the past: When you believe that your divorce was a mistake, you may spend a lot of time dwelling on what went wrong and what you could have done differently. This can prevent you from moving forward and making progress in your life.
2. Ruminating on regrets: You may find yourself constantly replaying memories and regretting your decision to get divorced. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and sadness, which can be difficult to shake.
3. Preventing closure: By believing that your divorce was a mistake, you may be preventing yourself from fully accepting the reality of the situation. This can make it harder to find closure and move on.
4. Holding onto hope: Sometimes, believing that your divorce was a mistake can be a way of holding onto hope that things will work out with your ex-spouse. This can prevent you from fully accepting the end of your marriage and moving on with your life.
5. Stopping personal growth: Finally, by believing that your divorce was a mistake, you may be preventing yourself from learning and growing from the experience. Every experience, even difficult ones, can be an opportunity for personal growth and development. If you are stuck in regret and self-blame, you may miss out on these opportunities.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that both you and your partner have to be willing to work on the relationship in order for reconciliation to be possible. If your partner is not willing to work on the relationship, it may be time to accept their decision and move on.

It’s important to recognize that accepting the reality of your divorce does not mean that you have to like it or feel happy about it. It simply means that you are willing to acknowledge what happened, learn from it, and move forward in a way that is healthy and productive for you.