Co-parenting During The Coronavirus Crisis
Co-parenting during these unprecedented times is challenging. Fear & anxiety are the new normal. When we feel a threat, our Mama Bear or Papa Bear instincts kick in. We will do anything to protect our children.
Yesterday, my state issued a mandatory Stay At Home Order, stating that “no Maryland resident should leave their home unless it is for an essential job or for an essential reason, such as obtaining food or medicine, seeking urgent medical attention, or for other necessary purposes.” This Order is similar to Orders in several other states. The question on a lot of separated and divorced parent’s minds is how will this effect our co-parenting agreement?
Co-parenting Guidance from Family Law Experts
The Stay At Home Order for Maryland residents defines essential activity as travel required by court order. Yesterday I attended a webinar to gain perspective from the Maryland Judiciary. Bottom line, parents are urged to be reasonable, open minded and to cooperate.
The Honorable Mary Kramer said “the most important thing that parents can do right now is use common sense and put their kid’s welfare first.” Courts are operating with limited resources. They are not hearing cases unless they rise to the level of a true emergency. A decision as to whether a case is a true emergency is discretionary and is made by the Administrative Judge in your local jurisdiction.
Impact of Stay At Home Orders when Co-parent is Out of State
If one parent lives in another State, travel at this time may be unrealistic. Even when parents live nearby, circumstances such as a parent being ill, or working on the front lines, may prevent time-sharing.
Parents are urged to get creative in the interim. Perhaps agree to make up time when the crisis is over. If you feel very strongly about keeping your kids with you, sacrifices may need to be made in order to keep your children safe. Judge Kramer suggests offering additional time during summer or the Christmas holiday.
Video conferencing apps such as Zoom, Houseparty, and Google Duo make virtual visits easier than ever. While it does not replace physically being with your kids, it is a way to maintain consistent contact during the Covid19 crisis. Schedule time to read a bedtime story, play video games, or watch a movie together, for example.
What if Co-parents Can’t Agree
So what if parents can’t agree on whether their children should shelter in place at one parent’s home? Family law experts suggest that in such cases the court order prevails. But there are always exceptions to every rule based on specific facts. Warning, unilaterally violating the terms of your parenting agreement does not come without consequences.
Failing to comply with court-ordered parenting time is never risk-free-even during a pandemic. The judiciary anticipates a flood of contempt actions once courts resume normal daily operations. Judges will be looking to see if the parent who withheld the child did so reasonably. In other words would an objective person looking at the facts come to the same conclusion? If the Judge hearing the case believes the answer is no, you risk having to pay attorneys fees to your co-parent, as well as possibly a change in custodial time sharing.
If you are unable to reach an agreement with your co-parent, consult with an attorney to find out the legal repercussions of your actions. Mediators, Parent Coordinators, and Divorce Coaches are also available to help you explore options and make the best choice for you and your family.
