How to Minimize Stress During a Pandemic
Stress affects everyone. Life is hard right now. No one is immune from the effects of the Coronavirus. Coping with the end of your marriage is one of the most stressful and emotional times in your life. Add a worldwide pandemic into the mix and no wonder stress levels are through the roof. When a relationship ends, feelings of disappointment, anger, and grief are normal. Now you may also be managing job layoffs, reduction in pay, working from home, school closures, homeschooling, physical distancing, fear of getting sick, your children’s disappointment over missed friends, cancelled proms, graduations, and the list goes on and on.
You are not alone. Stress and anxiety are at an all time high. Firdaus S. Dhabhar, a professor in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine says, “Some amount of stress is natural and to be expected under conditions involving significant uncertainty, understandable fear of illness, and somewhat of a lack of control arising from the challenges imposed by the COVID-19 outbreak.” However, too much stress can weaken your immune system making it harder to fight off infections.
It is important now more than ever to reduce stress as much as possible. So how can you minimize stress and manage your divorce or post-divorce issues during this pandemic? Focus on things you can control, such as your budget and self care.
Reduce Stress By Reviewing Your Budget
Family law attorney Regina DeMeo, in her blog post What Budget Changes Can You Make Immediately During This Covid-19 Crisis, suggests minimizing the financial hit your family might take in the long run by reviewing what expenses you can cut right now. What are luxuries and what are necessities? Make a list and then see where you can make some cuts, even if they are temporary, while you weather the storm.
Having trouble determining what you can cut from your budget? Kelly Crane, certified financial planner and CIO of Napa Valley Wealth Management, tells CNBC Make It, once you are down to your core budget, go over it again. “Look for anything else you can live without right now, like your unlimited phone plan, cable, cleaning service, or any delivery services. These are items that might be important in normal life but could go in recessionary times.” Once you have cut out non-essential expenses, go back and review those items that must be paid. There may be ways to temporarily reduce or stop payments during this crisis.
Loans and Credit Cards
If you have expenses that you can’t automatically cut such as loans, mortgage payments, rent, and minimum credit card payments, contact your lenders and ask if they can work with you during this time. Lenders may be willing to work with you on a case-by-case basis to waive late payments or create a payment plan.
Child Support & Alimony
If you are worried about being able to pay child support and/or alimony it is likely that your former spouse is also worried about expenses. Communication with your Ex is important now more than ever. Unilaterally stopping payments, especially if you are obligated to pay child support and/or alimony, could have negative consequences. Contact your attorney to discuss any options you may have. For example, in many states a modification of support is only retroactive to the date of filing. So even if the courts are closed for hearings, you may still be able to file a motion. Mediation may also be available and many mediators are offering virtual sessions to accommodate social distancing.
Self-Care
If you follow me on Instagram, Facebook, or on my blog you know that I am a huge believer in the power of self care. Helping others cope with their stress can also make your community stronger. However, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others. If you want to best serve your family and your community, it is essential that you make time for you.
The CDC recommends the following tips to ease your anxiety:
Take Breaks
Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to the news, including social media. Make sure your kids are also taking breaks to avoid media overload. Set aside time to read together, work on a puzzle, or clean out a closet. A silver lining to being stuck at home is being able to spend more time together.
Exercise
Get up and move every day. With gyms closed it may be easy to stay in bed and forget about working out. Don’t do it. There are many free resources to help you maintain your workout schedule. If you don’t have a home gym, that is okay. Use household items as weights, such as text books or water bottles. If you don’t want to participate in a class, go for a walk, a bicycle ride or try these 10 minute workouts you can do with your kids. It doesn’t matter what you do, so long as you make it a priority to move every day.
Maintain healthy eating habits
Eat healthy well balanced meals. I have seen a lot of posts about baking, and cooking comfort foods. While it is great to spend time in the kitchen, and even better if you get your family involved, don’t use the pandemic as an excuse to abandon healthy habits.
Make time for you:
It is important that you set aside time every day to fill your cup. It is easy to become overwhelmed with caring for your kids, figuring out how to homeschool, keeping the house in order, learning to share space with your spouse, and worrying about elderly parents and grandparents. Here are a few self-care tips you can practice while quarantined:
- Meditate-there are lots of free resources for beginners and those that are more advanced.
- Try a new hobby such as knitting, beading, baking or woodworking.
- Declutter-for some cleaning is a great stress reliever. If this is you, your house will become extremely neat and tidy.
- Connect with friends & family-even though we are practicing physical distancing, it does not mean you can’t be social. Zoom and Houseparty are great ways to connect with several people at one time. If you are going out to pick up groceries, check on older neighbors and see if they need any items.
Coach’s Tips To Minimize Stress
Taking control of your budget and making the right financial moves can help you manage financial stress while you shelter in place. Making sure you are exercising, eating healthy, and connecting with friends and loved ones will keep you stay sane while you hunker down for the long haul. If you are having difficulty figuring out how to reduce your budget, or are struggling with finding time for self-care speak to a divorce professional such as an attorney, financial advisor, divorce coach or therapist.
