Support Women Need Most During Divorce
What support do women need most during divorce? In an effort to learn more about the needs and wants of moms going through divorce I joined Worthy’s facebook group, Worthy Women and Divorce. If you don’t already know, Worthy is a jewelry reseller based in NYC. Many of their customers are women going through divorce. Worthy created an online community in response to the needs of the women they meet everyday.
A few months ago I posted the following question in the Worthy Women and Divorce Facebook group:
“What is the one thing that you want or wanted help with the most when going through your divorce?”
This question resonated with members of the community and within a few hours 96 women had answered what support they needed most. Not surprisingly, the top three are emotional support, financial support and legal support.
Emotional Support:
The majority of women who responded to my question said they wished they had emotional support. However, many did not know who to turn to other than friends and family. Support from friends and family is important during divorce. But, they are often ill-equipped to provide the help you need. Although well meaning, friends and family may say and do things that are inappropriate or cause you to react in a manner that may hurt your case.
A Divorce Coach provides impartial and objective emotional and practical support. You can feel free to vent about your ex-spouse without fear that your words may come back to bite you. Additionally, my clients benefit from my years of experience as a seasoned family law attorney. Instead of feeling anxious and frustrated by your ex’s antics, you will be empowered to react in a calm and confident manner.
Financial Knowledge:
Let’s face it, divorce is expensive. Even an amicable divorce can be costly, and when things are not so friendly, legal expenses escalate. Several women responded that they wish they had known a way to keep expenses under control.
When you utilize your attorney as your main source of emotional support and guidance, legal fees skyrocket. Your initial retainer is depleted before much legal progress has been made.
A coach’s fees are typically less, and often a lot less, than an attorney’s fees. Hiring a divorce coach allows you to manage your emotions, get organized and stay focused without depleting your legal retainer too quickly.
A divorce coach can also help you find other divorce professionals. CPA’s, CDFA’s, and/or Financial Advisors will help you understand your finances so you can plan for your future and make informed decisions.
Legal Advice:
Eight women commented that they wish they had good legal advice. Unfortunately, too many women forgo legal advice because they have no idea where to turn. Many women believe they can’t afford an attorney. Another mistake women often make is believing that mediation does not require consulting with a lawyer.
I encourage all of my clients to consult with a lawyer before making any decisions that will affect their future. How can you negotiate a settlement if you have no idea what you are entitled to? Knowledge empowers you to negotiate from a place of strength rather than weakness.
One Worthy woman’s comment holds true for many going through divorce;
I would have loved someone sitting me down and explaining:
- How to find the right attorney;
- What does the whole process look like;
- How much will this cost me.
A Divorce Coach is that someone. When you work with me you will understand the process, get clear on your goals, focus on your core values, and stay true to yourself. At the end of the day you will look in the mirror and love the person looking back at you.
As a result of my question, the administrators of the Worthy Facebook community asked if they could use my question as a starting point for their monthly Worthy Asks column. Of course, I said yes.
Stay tuned to see what questions and answers appear in the months to come.
If you have a question you would like answered on Worthy Asks, let me know in the comments below.
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