Divorce Support: September Edition
It’s time for Divorce Support Weekly Wisdom-the September Edition. This is where I share divorce support related content from around the web that I hope you will find useful and interesting.
I don’t know about you but I can’t believe September is almost over. The weather is still quite nice here so I am having a hard time transitioning to fall. Now that summer is over, my life has become much busier. Schedules and routines take the place of lazy mornings, and late nights before the sun goes down. Finding quality time to spend with your kids gets more difficult as you juggle school, activities and custody schedules. It is important to be flexible, but be careful about making verbal agreements that can’t be enforced. Speaking of being busier, don’t forget to make time for yourself. Self-care is key to having living a happier, healthier life.
Grab a cup of coffee-or tea, take a few minutes, and see what might enlighten and inspire you.
Before you go, let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I love hearing from you.
Divorce
Modifications to custody and child support orders or agreements are often inevitable as children grow older and financial situations change. This article Can I Modify My Child Custody Agreement Myself Without Going To Court, answers the question many co-parents ask and provides good tips on why it may not be such a good idea to make informal changes. I believe it is important to be flexible, when possible and in the best interest of your children. However, if you plan to make permanent changes, it is always safer to memorialize your understanding in writing.
Have you made verbal changes to your Custody Agreement? Have you encountered any problems enforcing those changes if your Ex-spouse changes their mind?
Parenting
“When life is demanding we have a tendency to give our loved ones our leftovers rather than our best.”
Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth to this quote. Whether you are a single parent or not, spending quality time with your kids is key to developing strong bonds and deeper relationships. Having trouble coming up with fun and exciting activities your kids will enjoy? Jack Beldsoe provides a list of 101 family friendly activities (mostly free) to get you started.
Here are some of my favorite ideas:
If you have older kids, plan a day to test drive cars, create a family history timeline, or test out recipes for a family recipe book. Younger kids might enjoy creating a family handshake, going on a scavenger hunt, or visiting a fire station. Family board game night, bike ride, or video game contest appeal to kids of all ages.
Comment below and let me know what are your favorites? Do you have anything to add to the list?
Wellness, Resilience, & Self-Care
“Self-care is a way you live your life, and this includes how you relate to yourself each and every moment of the day-it is not all about candles and yoga.”
In a recent article for Psychology Today, Katherine King Psy.D writes about Four Realistic Rules for Better Self-Care. They are: self-talk, distraction, emotionally process your experiences, and take care of your physical health.
King suggests that self-talk can sabotage your self-care routine. If you take time out of your busy day to relax by getting a massage, but you continue to think about and stress over work, you defeat the purpose of the massage.
Distractions are often used as a way to forget about what might be bothering us or causing us discomfort. King suggests that in short bursts, distractions can be a good form of self-care, but if used too often, you may find that you are unable to process your emotions and the stress that flows from those emotions may become worse rather than better.
Activities that allow you to process your emotions, such as exercise, journaling, meditation, or talking to Your Divorce Coach-for example-can balance out your favorite distractions.
Taking care of your physical health does not have to include expensive gym memberships, fancy spa treatments, or weekly massages (although these things can be part of your self-care routine). Making sure to drink lots of water, eat healthy, and get enough rest are inexpensive ways to maintain good health, especially during stressful transitions.
Divorce Support
Whether you are at the beginning of the divorce process, stuck in the middle, or struggling with the aftermath, as Your Divorce Coach I will be by your side helping you transform the way you experience divorce- making it less stressful, less unpleasant, and potentially less expensive both emotionally and financially.
