Divorce professionals often see a spike in clients contemplating divorce during the month of January. According to legal experts the reason for this trend is that people often wait to announce a divorce until after the holidays. Couples, especially those with children, make a point of staying together through the end of the year, even if one or both have started to consider divorce long before Thanksgiving.  If you find yourself contemplating divorce or your spouse has advised you that they intend to end the marriage, here are a few tips to help you prepare.

Be strategic

Don’t rush to file for divorce and escalate the situation. Take time to gather information. Make copies of bank statements, credit card bills, last years tax returns, W-2’s,1099’s and other important financial documents. The stress and strain of the holidays can leave you feeling tired and emotional.  Give yourself time before making big financial decisions or changes.

Build your divorce team

Build your team of divorce professionals. A certified divorce coach can help you establish goals and strategize a plan; a certified financial planner can help you understand the financial implications of divorce; and a family lawyer can explain the legal aspects so you can understand your rights and options.  

Educate yourself

I remind all of my clients, knowledge is power. Every state is different, and sometimes outcomes vary by county. Learn whether you live in a community property state or equitable distribution state. Community property states treat all marital assets as community or marital property, meaning assets acquired during the marriage are divided equally when a couple divorces. In equitable distribution states, assets are divided based on a variety of factors and equitable does not always mean equal. When you work with Your Divorce Coach, you have the advantage of having a partner who will assist you in finding and understanding the basic legal principles, the different methods available to obtaining a divorce, and locating an attorney who is right for you.

Make a list of questions

It is important to have a list of questions before you consult with a lawyer.  This ensures that your time with the lawyer will be useful and efficient. Unsure what questions you need to ask, where to find the answers, and/or afraid of making a mistake? This is where having a certified divorce coach on your team can save you time and money.

Don’t Neglect Self-Care

If you fail to care for yourself, stress can overwhelm you causing you to become anxious and depleted. This is when mistakes often occur. Being mindful of self-care during divorce can make a huge difference in being able to move forward in a happy and healthy manner. When you take care of yourself, you are better able to offer the best care to your children.