Do you want to be a happier person, a better parent, and reduce the stress when communicating with your ex-spouse? If so, here are three things you need to know about forgiveness and divorce. 

1. Forgiveness is for you not the person you are forgiving. Setting healthy boundaries is important as you move through the divorce process and begin your next chapter. It is reasonable for you to hold yourself and others accountable for their actions or inactions. When you forgive you are not saying what your Ex did was okay. Instead you are saying I am no longer going to let your actions control my mood, my actions, or my reactions. Forgiveness allows you to take your power back.  
2. Patience is required. Letting go of negative emotions, past hurt, anger, and shame takes time. Forgiveness rarely happens overnight. Forgiving someone out of obligation won’t result in true forgiveness and resentment will show up down the road. Be aware of your emotions and allow them to happen naturally. Denying emotions and/or holding a grudge only keeps us stuck in the past. Use the past as a catalyst for change and free yourself from negativity as you begin to move forward. Healing takes time, be patient with yourself and your Ex as you learn to navigate your co-parenting relationship.
3. Focus on what you can control. Recognizing that you can’t make others change is the first step towards peace. While you can’t change the past, you can make better choices in the future. Remember you can only control your actions and reactions, noone elses.